生笑愛永遠に Live, laugh, love forever
by Ninja0Squirl
Summary: Uzumaki Naruto wants to be a god, Kyuubi, currently possessing Hinata's body, wants some decent sake. Join them, on their adventures, as they try to master everything this world has to offer! And find the worlds best sake! Anyone want to collab?
1. Chapter 1

生笑愛永遠に (Live, laugh, love forever)

Hyuuga Hinata was ready to take on the world! She was shy, and not to strong, her family didn't particularly like her, and everything in her life had been pretty much hell, but she would be damned in she gave up such a great opportunity! A ten-week training trip with several other medic-nins her own age was almost to much to ask for. Straightening her headband, she cheerfully walked out of the gates and took off with her comrades. Ino was to her left, cheerfully chatting with Sakura, while the few boys around gathered around each other in hopes of looking far more masculine than they actually looked.

She smiled happily, ten-weeks away from her family, learning about what she loved to do most, and best of all, a chance of romance! Who knew what could happen outside Leaf village's walls? Hours seemed to pass for quicker then she thought they would, and soon, they were setting up camp and cheerily preparing to go and take baths. Shyly, Hinata went in search of a more seclusive place and used a jutsu her sensei had shown her so that she wouldn't have to worry about keeping her teammates waiting, it created a small onsen like pond, just coming up to her shoulders. The heat wouldn't last long, so she hurriedly undressed and climbed in, relaxing into the waters.

She closed her eyes and allowed her chakra to flow out, filling the waters with her strength, rejuvenating her, and messaging into her always tense shoulder muscles. She loved taking baths, it was like a purifying ritual that cleared her of any sins, ridding her of the milky white eyes that always seemed to follow her no matter where she went.

Suddenly, a rustling caught her attention, shyly, she turned, trying to cover up any of her body shown. A boy walked out of the covering, nearly making her faint in embarrassment. The boy was blond, with red eyes and long whisker markings on his face, red chakra seemed to hover about him, and as he turned his gaze to her, she felt herself unable to move.

"**You'll do**_._" the voice was demonic, yet it did not release her from its trance as the red chakra flowed forward, capturing her. She could feel it, taking over her body, filling her chakra reserves to their breaking point, then, when they finally burst, repairing them to its liking. She felt herself slipping away, and could do nothing but stare into the boy's eyes, which were changing now, almost a blueish color.

_Shino-kun... Kiba-kun... Neji-nii-san... Outu-san... I'm so sorry...._

"Kyuubi! What the hell are you doing?" Uzumaki Naruto was restored to his right mind, and watched with a nervous feeling as his demon took control of the white-eyed, naked chick.

"Hmph, a Hyuuga... couldn't even break the seal..." The girl's eyes were a sort of filmy reddish white, like somebody had added red dye to expired milk, it freaked him out.

"What the hell? I was in the middle of doing something important here!" he shouted, using his sword to accent his words.

"Yes, yes, and I was doing something important to. That jutsu you did almost killed you! As it is, I just managed to escape with _my_ life! However, the overload didn't destroy the seal, which means, however annoying, my very soul is still attached to your pathetic existence." Naruto frowned.

"So, that jutsu or whatever you called it, I can't use them?" earlier, he had went head to head with ninja's from some bird village or something, maybe it was a leaf... he had tried to copy one of their quick hand moves that resulted in those magic things.

"Listen baka, you've been raised as a sword user, even though you have my chakra -that's what you use for jutsu- your own chakra reserves have been unused until now. Even if you wanted to use jutsu, you would have to begin at a stupid beginners level, I believe they label it academy student level." Kyuubi climbed out of the pond and rung out the girls hair, grimacing, "Purple hair... ugh...."

"Baka!" Naruto pounded her over the head with his sword, "I told you very clearly when we left my village that we were going to master everything in this world! I already have done homely duties, swordsmanship, and every single sport! In order to completely master the physical section, I must master this jutsu as well." he nodded.

"I don't see why you bother. Even if you do manage to master everything in this world, you'll still have to master everything in the demon world, heaven, the summons world, and any other worlds you come across before you can become a god!" Naruto just sighed.

"Kyuubi, Kyuubi, Kyuubi! Just because it will take eternity, doesn't mean I won't manage it! I'm Uzumaki Naruto after all, the gods answer to my beck and call!"

"Sure they do baka saru." Naruto growled.

"Just put on some damn clothes so we can get to one of those dumb villages and master this jutsu!"

"No, I've decided... I shall be a nudist!" Naruto just shrugged, smirking, much to Kyuubi's surprise.

"Lets see how that works out when we're going through all those trees and you have to pick leaves out from your-" he was interrupted as Kyuubi blew a fireball at him.

"Shut it asshole, I'll put on some damn clothes!"

"Great! Now off to some village!"

* * *

AN: Should I continue this? I'm not even sure I can... would anyone like to collab it? You know, I write on chapter, you write the next? I'll love you forever if you want to!

The idea behind this is that for some reason, Naruto still had Kyuubi sealed inside him, but was raised in some village similar to... Metal I guess? Where they don't have ninja's but samurai instead. Oh, everything follows basic canon, except Naruto never existed, so basically everything happened the same way up to the chuunin exams, at which time Sakura and Ino became friends and decided to be medic-nins, along with Hinata, Neji kicked Kiba's ass, and Kakashi defeated Gaara (he was there, for some reason).

I basically just had this image of a Kyuubi!Hinata and a Naruto with no bonds to Leaf Village stuck in my head, I need to do something with it...

But yeah, anybody interested in collabing with me on this?


	2. Chapter 2

生笑愛永遠に (Live, laugh, love forever)

Ichii was used to a lot of things, though he'd lived only twenty-four years, he had seen stuff that would make others believe him insane, as such, he wasn't even the least unperturbed when a pink-eyed Hyuuga in short shorts that had obviously been cut that way by a sword or kunai, and a common Hyuuga style shirt accompanied by a blonde haired boy dress in a kendo uniform without armor and a real sword walked into his dango shop two minutes after everyone vacated it.

What _did_ perturb was how loudly the pink-eyed, girly-girly, dyed purple hair Hyuuga was complaining about his specially brewed sake! Seeing red, he walked over as calmly as possible, and asked in his always professional voice if something was the matter.

"Yeah, your sake tastes like shit." okay, that was enough! He was sick and tired of everyone complaining about his dango, his clothes, his fixation on little girls, and his sake! He had had enough! This no-decency Hyuuga was about to taste the wrath of dango shop owner scorned! He lunged forward, preparing to strangle the whore into oblivion.

Only to find his head suddenly decorating the blonde's sword, it was very surprising, but at the very least he wouldn't have to deal with his bitch of a mother's nagging now... that sounded nice.

"Honestly Kyuubi, this is the third time! How many people am I going to have to stop from killing you?" Kyuubi, complete uncaring, continued to drink her 'taste like shit' sake.

"You could _just_ let them try." she set the sake down daintily and tapped a napkin to her mouth, as if it was a tea ceremony instead of a seedy dango bar.

"Yeah, that would go over well, it's bad enough you have pink eyes from that whatchamacallit clan."

"Hyuuga."

"Yeah, why the hell do people get so pissed that you have pink Hugga eyes!"

"Hyuuga fishcakes, Hyuuuuuuuuga. It's because the Hyuuga are an off break of Sharingan, which is is one of the two main bloodlines from the ten-tailed beast powers." She stood and began to check the man's pockets unembarrassed.

"Kyuubi, I only know the Bushido code, everything else is a big gray zone, so explaining what the hell you mean would be nice."

"But, there's the thing, I'm not nice." Kyuubi, having decided that taking all the man's ryo wasn't enough, began to head towards the counted for some more ryo and whatever else loot she could find.

"Kyuubi, I have control over you, whether you like it or not." she sent glare his way, daring him to try. Without even blinking, he forced her remaining chakra to leave his coils, though unaware of what exactly he was doing, he had been able to do so since he was little, and knew that with no place to go, Kyuubi would feel its unsurety and...

"Augh! Please, stop! It's like... it's like listening to old dying people talking to suicidal teenagers!" Naruto grinned, and allowed the chakra back into his coils.

"Then explain to me."

"It's damn unfair you can do that yet you can't control your own chakra." he stared at her blankly, waiting, "There are Senju's, who believe in love and peace and blah blah, there basically potheads who want to end hate. The others are Uchiha, the sharingan wielders, they believe in war, hate, destruction, and everything else you could assume. Basically, their yin and yang, and both are nearly extinct, so it doesn't matter anyway."

"So there aren't any Uchiha's or Senju's anymore?" he asked curiously, joining her in the looting. After all, being a wandering soon-to-be god was hard work, and since he didn't have any followers yet he didn't exactly have the means to get any money.

"There are a few. The Senju name is used as an organization, but there are at least two of their blood around somewhere... probably. The Uchiha's have Itachi and Sasuke, both are certifiably insane, so it doesn't matter much." Naruto nodded.

"That makes sense, after all, who will need peace or war once such a great god as I steps forth?"

"One, your not a god yet, two, it will take an eternity for you to become one, by then there will be a new lame ass war and peace clan argument going on, three, even _if_ you do become a god, who's going to know?"

"Hmmm... you raise a good point Kyuubi! As soon as we reach... some village! We will convert people to me!"

"Right, and how are you going to do that? At least that Jashin guy is offering immortality."

"I was thinking that whoever swears to serve me gets to rape you." Kyuubi growled.

"Asshole, take this seriously!" Naruto's blue eyes darkened, glinting manically.

"Oh, but I am...."

* * *

AN: Dunananana cliffie! .... I'm so weird.

So, I'm continuing it. You guys should thank Viperflamer and go read But he's just a ramen chef! I was reading chapter six where Naruto is telling Hinata to just flow like sake, and this scene of Kyuubi's line popped into my head.

As for this story... I think I'm coming forthwith with the chaos. And, if you are going to complain about the whole "It's possible for Naruto to become a god thing" then you might as well leave right now! As for the village he's going to... I haven't even the faintest, so for now it shall be referred to as ... some village! Oh, and yeah, Naruto is OOC, if you didn't catch that by the whole 'wants to be a god thing' then you should probably leave right now.

I am such a plothole!Hugger, I had to think of some way for Kyuubi's OOC moments where Naruto insults her and she doesn't retort, though it could be that she's just to mature to take his bait, I like the idea of him being able to do this. Its basically like how you can discover a skill you're able to do that takes a lot of people practice, but you can't do anything else. So, in real words terms, it would be like a prodigy in factoring not having any other knowledge of math sort of thing.

His outfit is actually called hakama pants and uwagi shirt, basically a miko outfit or kendo outfit without armor. I just figured most people wouldn't know...

Oh, for reference, while in English sake means rice wine, in Japanese it refers to any alcoholic substance, just in case anyone didn't know... Collabing offer is on the table until chapter five.

**PLEASE READ THIS!!!!!!**

Naruto is going to need some followers (_Yes_, he will have some) please vote in who you would like to see. (We all just thought Haku, didn't we?)


	3. Chapter 3

生笑愛永遠に (Live, laugh, love forever)

Haruno Sakura had lived for sixteen years, in that amount of time she had nearly been killed three... four times. No big deal, she was a ninja after all. But still, she was damn sure she would never get use to being pinned by a psychotic maniac. She squirmed, trying to move out from beneath Sasuke as he glared down at her, he'd appeared before them as they were searching for the suddenly disappeared Hyuuga Hinata, and pursuit soon followed.

"You have changed Haruno." he said simply, squeezing her wrists tighter.

"Get off me Uchiha-san, I would hate to use force." he smirked.

"I'm sure that would work ou-" his sarcasm was interrupted as a kunai whizzed past, knocking him back with the sheer force it was thrown. Before them appeared a blonde haired man and Hinata in some ruined clothes.

"Hinata!" she called.

"Who? Oh, so this was the previous owner's name, right? That's not really as cool as name as I wanted."

"W-what... what's going on?" she demanded, unsure.

"Simple, " the blonde haired boy threw another kunai, blunted she noted as it passed, that knocked out Sasuke, "Making you two the first followers of the great god Naruto Uzumaki." she blinked, unsure.

"Er... who is that?" the blonde twitched in annoyance.

"Me, of course! Can't you tell from the godliness emanating from my body?"

"What the baka saru here means, is that you two baka sarus are to become his servants while he masters everything this world has to offer in order to become a god."

"Riiiiight, erm... yeah, I already have a god so I think I'll just-" with that she found herself pinned once more by a psychotic maniac.

"Silly girl, you think you had a choice? I will have Kyuubi-" Sakura's eyes widened.

"T-the K-kyuubi?" she stuttered out.

"Yes, the Kyuubi. She will bind you and that... emo to me so that I can kill you at will, luckily, you'll then be immortal. So yeah, hold still."

"W-wha- that doesn't make any sense!" she shrieked.

"永!" the pyscho behind the boy screamed, and suddenly, she felt light-headed, everything was dull, like somebody put a bit of film around her head.

"Did it work?"

"Just go ahead and check!"

"I'll check on the emo, at least the pinkette has some purpose if it didn't work." she heard something vague as the blonde approached where she remembered Sasuke being, turning her head, she gasped as the sword fell, slicing off the boy's head completely.

"Sasuke!" she screamed, but it sounded strange coming from her mouth, like a deaf person's warble. She watched in horror as the head reattached, just then noting the black color and fox skeleton design on their bodies.

"Holy shit I look like road kill!" she screamed, and everything came into focus.

"So, yeah, it worked. Your now my eternal servant." she sighed, and decided that hysterical shouting was best saved for a later moment when she wasn't elaborately painted with a fox skeleton.

"So what exactly does that mean?" he blinked and shrugged.

"Sacrifice a month, preferably virgin, uhm...."

"Sake."

"Right, a virgin with a few bottles of the finest quality sake you can find! And.... uhm... you do stuff I tell you to do. Plus, your immortal."

"For the immortal thing she has to kill herself once a month."

"Right, yeah. That's it, so, welcome to being my servant."

"Okay.... Now what?"

"Er.... pick up Emokid and... fix me a sammich." Sakura sighed and reached into her pocket, pull out a kunai and stabbed herself in the neck. The wound healed over quickly, leaving her slightly woozy and blood covering Sasuke and Naruto.

"What was that for?"

"It's what I'll keep doing if you ever tell me to fix a 'sammich' again."

"Oh... I could see how that would be annoying. Fine, no sammich, but I will want some ramen at a later date."

"I'm okay with that." she picked up Sasuke and walked besides the two, unsure how to go about this, "So, I'm Sakura."

"Oh, cool, Naruto, your much adored god, and this is Kyuubi, my servant."

"Until you die, then I am the nine tailed fox who will evaporate humanity."

"Don't you mean eviscerate all of humanity?" she found herself wondering aloud.

"No, evaporate." Kyuubi chuckled darkly.

"Yeah, whatever, so anyway, you know how to get to any ninja villages?"

"Only Leaf, but they probably won't let me in for two reasons, one being that I don't have my forehead protector, and two being that I am now roadkill."

"Oh, yeah, just... ignore that, it'll probably go away." Naruto waved it off.

"Like a bad rash." Kyuubi added.

"Yeah, exactly."

"So, why do you need to get to a a ninja village?"

"To become a ninja, duh. I've mastered the samurai techniques, now I need to move on to ninja, and so on and so forth until I've mastered everything in the world."

"Oh... if I teach you how to be a ninja will you mind if I don't sacrifice a virgin to you." Naruto paused to think about it.

"Eh, I'm okay with prostitutes, so teach me some ninja moves!"

"Okay... how much do you know about being a ninja right now?"

"Zip."

"Nada."

"Not even a little fly's worth."

"Probably somewhere in the negative numbers."

"Yeah, like negative eleven eight." she sighed and facepalmed, her new 'god' was an idiot.

"Right... lets wait for Sasu-... '_Emokid'_ to wake up before I start." Naruto nodded excitedly.

"Great!"

* * *

An: I don't know. I feel uninspired, probably from lack of reviews (hint, hint, nudge, nudge) and since _nobody_ voted who Naruto's servants should be, I just added in Sasuke and Sakura, they'll be OOC, but both will most likely just default to sarcastic bastards.

Yeah....

Oh, and the kanji Kyuubi used is Chinese for Eternal, permanent. Kyuubi uses Chinese kanji for sealing, because she's ancient really.


	4. Chapter 4

生笑愛永遠に (Live, laugh, love forever)

Everyone has a friend like Kisame. It was just a rule of nature, some had two. But still, Itachi pondered on why he was still included in the rules of nature, especially when it was such an annoying rule. Sighing apathetically, he walked over to the blue man covered in blood from their utterly destroyed enemy.

"Halt Kisame." the big man grinned and licked his chops.

"Come on Itachi-kun, I want this guy's brains, he had some interesting moves!" Itachi shook his head.

"His moves were slack and wouldn't last against even a chuunin. Plus, we must move on to find the Jinchuuriki." Kisame rolled his eyes.

"You kidding? that guy held you off for two seconds longer than it usually takes, and the Jinchuuriki doesn't even know how to use chakra, we'll have him down in a mere minute." Itachi began to walk off while Kisame followed, still gnawing the man's head.

"While I do admit his water jutsu surprised me, it was merely a fluke that the blast kept me from him for that moment. Also, as the Jinchuuriki does not know how to use jutsu but has been taught the way of samurai he may have an advantage. The weather is nice here."

"Feh, still going to eat his brain, his head was so big, maybe it will have some size to it. Samurai are just big headed idiots who are _official_, ninja can whip their butts any day. It looks like it's going to rain actually."

"I highly doubt you will find a brain in that head. Samurai are official for a reason, Kisame. There may be a lightening storm."

"Brains a brain, and I'm hungry. So what if their powerful? They still can't hold a match to us. If there's lightening there will probably be some fire." Itachi nodded discretely and pulled out some kunai under his cloak while Kisame gripped his Samehada, but in a inconspicuous way.

"If you eat that brain you'll be in the negative IQ points. Samurai may be a good match, they know ways of using their chakra that we are forbidden to. Fire wouldn't be to bad, as long as it's not a swarm." Kisame grinned.

"Still going to eat the brain!" he paused to take a bite out of the skull, "Bet that pisses you off, I'm surprised you haven't gone and pissed one of just to learn its moves. I doubt it's a swarm of fire, maybe its just something harmless, but the birds will sure feel it."

"Do what you want. I have, it didn't work out, retreat was the only option. Birds? I would think the lightening would clear them out." Kisame took a large bite of the brain and grinned.

"It's good for an idiot's brain. Really? Only retreat? Somehow I doubt that. As for that.. maybe there isn't any lightening?"

"It is impossible to tell an idiot and a genius once they die. Yes, retreat. No lightening? How would the fire start?"

"Guess you're right. I suppose the Jinchuuriki may be a bit of a threat then. Maybe a forest fire, there has been a bit more leaves around here than usual."

"I see, Kisame, feel free." the blue man grinned, and within moments the Samehada was pinning a Hyuuga to a tree.

"Hehe, I thought Hyuuga were more powerful than that. Must have been a defective one." Kisame began to walk over, still grinning.

"Don't talk about Hinata's body that way!" suddenly a pink haired girl covered in some sort of black and fox skeleton tattoo appeared.

"Yeah! Do you know how long she's going to go on about that! it's hell for a spleen to grow back!" a blonde, the Jinchuuriki.

"I don't care- Itachi!" Sasuke... well this was going to be fun, especially when he had that dumb tattoo.

"Brother?" the Jinchuuriki asked, then turned to Itachi curiously, "Emokid, do we need to have a talk about genders? Because you know, I don't think you know..." Sasuke glared.

"Listen up you dumass, this is the man I've been wanting to kill! He murdered my family!" the Jinchuuriki blinked, and seemed lost.

"_Fam-ee-lee_? What is that? Is it something important?" both of his servants seemed surprised at that.

"Yes, it's very important." Sasuke nodded, "They're the people who take care of you, and love you."

"Oh! Then I had one of these fam-ee-lees to! But why are you upset that your sister killed them?"

"He's not my sister! And, when somebody kills your family it is like watching the Earth be destroyed and having it be your fault!" the Jinchuuriki seemed even more confused.

"That makes no sense at all... this fam-ee-lee business is stupid. You should thank your sister for doing a favor like this! In fact, I will force you too!"

"What the hell are you-" he was interrupted by Kisame's shout.

"Oi! This is getting boring! Come on and fight Jinchuuriki! I want to enjoy this!" the blonde grinned.

"That's Naruto-dono to you commoner! You're referring to a god after all! So come on, let's fight!" faster than Itachi could see without his sharingan, Naruto was at Kisame's throat.

"God, eh? That's what you think the nine-tails makes you?"

"No! Why would Kyuubi-teme make me a god? All she does is complain about sake! I don't need her at all to be a god!" more fighting, Itachi was almost impressed the kid had lasted this long, even without Kisame using the Samehada.

"Heh, you're funny kid, but it'll be even funner defeating you." the blonde grinned, and added shurikun to what had been a singularly hands on match.

"Let's up the stakes fishman! If I win this match I take your little wench as a follower of the great god Naruto! if I lose, you can eat me, since you seem so fond of brains."

"Wench? Did you just call Itachi-kun my wench?" Kisame cracked up at that, "Fine, I accept!" Itachi tsked, but didn't particularly care, even if Kisame lost, he would win. He watched as the pinkette approached him while his brother remained with the Hyuuga, brooding.

"Hi, I'm Sakura, erm... Sasuke-kun isn't allowed to approach because of the seal on us right now, but he wants me to come over and talk to you."

"Hn." Sakura seemed hesitant.

"Actually, we don't have a seal, but I told him did, do you think that if I tell him that he has to sleep with me or else the seal will kill him, he would believe me?" Itachi slowly blinked, wondering at the bravery of the girl.

"Hn." he decided was a safe answer, keeping an eye on Kisame and Naruto out of the corner of his eye, they were a tie for each other, but he was sure that once Kisame grabbed the Samehada, all hope would be lost for the blonde.

"Oh... erm... can I ask you a question?"

"Hn."

"How do you get your hair all sparkly like that? Sasuke mentioned that he liked long hair once, but since my hair's so short I was thinking maybe I could go for sparkly hair."

"I condition before I shampoo." the girl seemed surprised he'd answered, but smiled at him. It was surprising how creepy a cute smile could look on a fox skeleton.

"Wow, so how did you get your nails like that? I've been using some green paint but it always comes out clumpy, no matter what brand I use!"

"If you mix some water into the paint before you apply then add a finish when you're done it should come out fine."

"You're really helpful! So, what do you use for mascara? I've been using some petroleum jelly, but you can see how that worked out."

"What gives you the impression I use mascara?" Sakura's eyes seemed to glitter.

"Wow Itachi-chan! You're so pretty, why don't you take over your cloak, I bet you look really hot underneath!" Itachi blanched slightly.

"What?" Sakura seemed put in her place.

"Oh, gomen! Is that too close? I'm just happy that I'll finally have another girl besides that insane Kyuubi!"

"I'm a male." he noted the mention of Kyuubi but decided to bring this up later. The girl seemed unsure.

"Are you really sure? Because, you know..." she averted her eyes.

"I stand when I pee." he stated.

"That doesn't always mean you're a guy, my friend Tenten worked really hard and now she can stand when she pees." Itachi blinked.

"What?" Sakura nodded her head.

"Yep! Maybe you were just raised a boy since you were first born! You're to pretty to be a guy." Itachi suddenly felt very strange, like he was about to faint, except for the fact that he was a Uchiha, and Uchiha men didn't faint.

_Wait a minute..._ he blinked, he had been trained and constantly reminded he was a boy, to such a point that when he grew his hair out long his father increased training and refused to look at him.

"Hn." he needed to take a seat, "Is it possible...?" he wondered aloud. The girl looked at him curiously.

"Well, I know a way to find out! Here, take off your cloak." Itachi nodded and took it off.

Meanwhile, farther off Sasuke watched with the half awake Kyuubi, who was complaining to him while the other two were distracted. He glowered as Itachi finally took off his cloak.

"Took her long enough." he grumbled.

"Yep, now watch this kid, because if it doesn't work the first time you're doing it next." Sasuke nodded and activated his sharingan as Kyuubi went through the hand motions, "永!" he could see now that it was similar to Orochimaru's sealing method, Kyuubi even disconnected her mouth as she gripped on to his brother's neck. But it was so fast that it made Orochimaru seem like a snail in comparison.

"This is getting boring Jinchuuriki." Kisame noted with a sigh as he dodged some kunai and threw some of his own.

"Yep it is, to bad you've already lost."

"Huh? Kid, I can beat you anytime I want with just a jutsu!" Naruto shrugged.

"Who said this had anything to do with fighting?"

"What?"

"If you'll notice," Naruto motioned off towards the place where Itachi had been, but Kisame didn't break eye contact for a second, "Itachi is now under my control."

"What?" now he broke eye contact, staring in shock as the pinkette carried Itachi, now covered head-to-toe in a similar tattoo to herself, back to the Hyuuga.

"Kyuubi works fast, all she needed was you to be distracted and for his cloak to be removed. My minions are truly the best!" Kisame gulped as he noted the Jinchuuriki wasn't even paying attention to him, while others may think of this as a fatal flaw, for somebody to actually have followers powerful enough to ambush Itachi...

"Itachi doesn't mean much to me, he was just my partner for awhile." _eight years_....

"How cruel! Time with a hot chick is time with a hot chick!"

"How many times do I have to say that Itachi is a guy?"

"Meh, whatever you want to think, I still won't believe you till I see proof for myself, that's what makes me such a brilliant god! Now, you have two options, I can kill you or make you my servant."

"Hmph." Kisame jumped down from his perch in a tree and without care, pulled his Samehada free of the Hyuuga's body, totally unaware of the consequences.

"I'm free! You're dead." before he could even blink a kunai was halfway into his throat, however, it was angled in such a way that everything important had been missed except a single small vein.

"Kyuubi! He hasn't answered yet!" Naruto complained. Sakura walked over and dropped Itachi on the ground.

"Frankly, I don't give a fuck, but do you honestly think that bringing in another homicidal maniac will work out well? Right now I'm the only who doesn't have some fixation on blood or killing." Naruto shrugged.

"Meh, who knows." with Naruto distracted, Kyuubi ripped out Kisame's throat, just as he was answering.

"Ye-"

"Dammit Kyuubi! Who knows how useful he could've been and now... what a waste..." Kyuubi shrugged.

"Who wants shark fin soup?"

"What?" Sakura asked in shock.

"I'm cooking!" Naruto suddenly looked panicked.

"Oh no! Bitch, the last time you cooked I was in the hospital for a week!" Kyuubi sighed.

"Fine, you, with the pink hair, cook!" Sakura glared.

"My name's Sakura, and what in God's name makes you think that I can cook?"

"She's got a point Kyuubi, there's nothing in my name that says she can."Sakura sighed while Sasuke rolled his eyes at the joke.

"Fine, Emokid, cook!" Sasuke scowled.

"Do you honestly think that _I_ can cook?" Kyuubi shrugged.

"Well it's down to one of you two, and neither of you can cook, so lets flip a coin."

"Heads." Sakura said quickly.

"Then your tails Emokid," she pulled out a small coin and flipped, "Looks like it's you Emokid." Sasuke sighed and gripped Kisame by the head and dragged him off, glad that he was at least cooking his brother's partner.

Soon a fire was set up and they were all sitting around it comfortably, unless you counted Sasuke and Kyuubi's maniacal laughs as they took turns hacking at Kisame's body.

"So, Naruto-sama, what did you mean by Itachi-chan having done a favor to Sasuke-kun?" the blonde blinked, sparing a glance over his shoulder at the still knocked out Uchiha, Sasuke even paused in his laughter to listen.

"Hmm... well, I lived in another village until I was three, when my mother moved to a village. After a year of living there she sold me to some samurai. Originally, they planned to raise me as a girl and put me on display as a geisha, since I was so cute back then," Sakura wasn't sure what she was more horrified at, the fact that Naruto's mother had sold him, or the fact that Naruto seemed proud he was almost put on display as a woman, "but they took pity on me and instead took me in and raised me as a samurai. It was nice for awhile, but once I had reached their level the dono of the village decided to test who was stronger. If I lost in the fight against them, I would be killed."

"That's terrible!" Sakura couldn't help but gasp.

"Why would it be?" Naruto asked curiously, "I killed them after all, I didn't lose. The dono took me in because of this, and I was able to master my samurai training as well as be declared the heir to the dono seat. But, once the fact that I had Kyuubi sealed inside me got out after an incident, I was kicked out of the village. I began to wander around and eventually I discovered my mother. At first I was happy to see her... but then she tried to sell me again, so I killed the bitch, and ever since I've sworn to never form such bonds again!" Sakura felt slightly sick at how casually Naruto was recounted his own tragedies.

"So, you're saying that... by killing Sasuke's parents, Itachi saved him from tragedy?" Naruto shrugged.

"No, people can grow up okay even with bad parents, what I'm saying is that Itachi taught him a lesson. Whenever you form a bond, you are taking a chance, because they can die at any time, it's better to just kill them yourself before anybody else can!" Naruto smiled widely, "That's the favor Itachi did for Sasuke. Because from what I've heard, none of the villages are treating it the right way!"

_A ninja does not cry, it values the mission before it's teammates..._ she furrowed her brow.

"I see, that's what they mean in those rules... Why can't they say it clearly?" Naruto shrugged.

"I dunno, I only know about ninja's not learning that from dono, he liked to use ninja incompetence as a good lesson." Sakura seemed insulted but was slightly curious.

"Then why do you want to learn how to be a ninja, or use kunai and shurikun?"

"A weapons a weapon, and using my chakra has got to be the most potent weapon out there!"

"You can't use chakra?" He raised an eyebrow and folded his arms.

"What did I tell you about my knowledge as a ninja?"

"But still, Samurai are suppose to be able to use chakra to!"

"I guess I might be able to, I can force Kyuubi's chakra out of my coils or whatever, but only that."

"But, you can walk on trees!" he blinked and tilted his head.

"Can't everybody?" she facepalmed.

"Uzumaki Naruto, we need to have a very serious discussion on what's normal and what's not."

* * *

AN: geez... such a long chapter. It's for Thanksgiving, got it? So don't get use to how long this is!

Yes, Kisame and Itachi can hold three separate conversations at once. Yes, Itachi is going to be a regular, mostly because I like him as a character, he adds conflict to his dumb story, and I like gender confusion a lot. (I cracked up my self when Sakura mentioned Tenten standing up when she pees.)

Yeah, Naruto's past, there's a bit more to it than there seems, but we'll see that later....


End file.
